Christmas is on the brain these days, and as we’re planning out the joyous holiday to come, it should come as no surprise to anyone that many of the conversations revolve around food. What to make, what to make, those are the real questions, but once the answers start coming in, do you know what my first thought about it is?
Whether or not my kids will eat it.
How did we get to this point? How on earth did we, a foodie family, get to the point where we have children whose favorite meals are pizza, mac-n-cheese, and fried chicken? When I think back over the last several years, all I can do is just shake my head, and see the error of my ways. I did this to myself- and why? Why on earth did I cave in to the idea that kid food is the easy food, and all those months when Andy was working out of town, kid food became the norm. Dinner was mac-n-cheese, chicken nuggets, hot dogs, pizza, tacos, with the occasional burger or pasta thrown in for good measure. Why, why, why!? When Zander was a brand new baby, I decided that he was going to be different, he was going to be my eater. And you know what I did? I cooked for him from scratch. I made baby foods of all kinds, and he devoured them down. His absolute favorite baby food I made for him was a chicken korma, made with white beans, sweet potato, chicken, coconut and a pinch of spice. Ground up of course, but he would inhale that curry like it was no tomorrow. Yet, as soon as the solid food started in, his fare became hot dogs, the occasional chicken breast, maybe a bit of scrambled egg. His varied diet full of world cuisine quickly became the standard American kid fare, and I’m still mad at myself for the slip.
We do this to ourselves. We go out to eat and we automatically look to the kids menu where we find the same kid fare at every restaurant we decide to grace with our presence. Instead of encouraging our kids to try what we order, or letting them choose something on the adult menu, we tell them they want chicken strips or mac-and-cheese- which of course, is always from a box anyway. Yeah. $4.99 for a bowl of easy mac and mandarin orange slices.
We automatically assume that our children, from infancy, are not going to enjoy spicy food, or salad, or vegetables. Unfortunately, we don’t get a do over. I can’t go back to the days of the high chair and pile Zander’s tray with meatloaf and baked potatoes. Or butter chicken and basmati rice. I so wish I could. Instead, I get to spend the next who-knows-how-long trying overcome what shouldn’t have been a problem in the first place.
Over the last few months, with Andy not working, we’ve slimmed down the food budget to the bare bones, and that has meant some tough love when it comes to dinner- there aren’t always other options available. Yes, we’re having cooked broccoli, and yes, you are going to eat them all. It isn’t fun. But, I have noticed, at least with Abigail, who is a few years older, that it does work sometimes.
It really and truly can take more than 15 exposures to a food before a child will willingly even take a bite, let alone learn to enjoy it. I have learned that just because a food is discarded once or twice, I need to keep at it, because with time, and with more exposure, things really are improving- albeit very, very slowly. I can’t give my kids rainbow chard just once, for example, have them spit it out and then determine that they hate it for life. I have to give it to them again. And again. And again, until it becomes normal.
But here’s the thing, and here is where I think I make my biggest mistake as a parent. We find success and then we pounce all over it. When Zander was a new eater I made a lot of scrambled eggs for him because he ate it. Well, guess what. I made them too often and he grew to despise them. He still doesn’t like eggs of any kind. He doesn’t like potatoes either, because of the same thing. When I make grilled cheese for lunch, I can’t make it every day and expect they’ll eat it. Variety is the spice of life! I don’t like eating the same thing two days in a row- why would my kids want to? So I totally deserve what I get when I get lazy and make grilled cheese two days in a row, only to have lunch on the second day go half-eaten.
Anyway. I just wanted to whine, really. My recent cooking funk was really a by-product of this very problem. It can be so discouraging to feed picky children- but I wanted to share that there is hope, and that not every child is born loving alfalfa sprouts and whole grain breads. I am far from perfect, but planning celebratory meals shouldn’t be so difficult!
We’ll see who wins the food revolution in our house. Right now it’s sort of an adventure, as Zander has learned a little bit about taste buds, and we’re constantly encouraging him to re-try a food, because he may very well have new taste-buds. I just have to keep telling myself that someday, my kids will learn they love food and eat anything and everything, and then I will wish I was back at the days of Happy Meals and Hot Dogs.
Thanks for sharing this post. My first baby is due in early April, and it’s my plan to make all her baby food, to feed her the largest variety of foods as possible, and to skip most processed foods. Of course, I’m sure many parents have had this idea in mind, so it may be too idealistic for actual practice, but we’ll see. My nephew (13), though, asked my sister if she thought my baby will ever have junk food. He felt bad for her. 😀
Congratulations Brandi! I hope this post wasn’t too discouraging… I think there is a fine line between junk food all the time and none of the time. The occasional chicken nugget is not going to end the world. But relying on it every other day- therein lies the problem. I wish you so much more success and diligence than I ended up with!